"I could live the next 30 years without having to work..."

sabasgr68 · Sat Dec 25, 2021 2:05 pm

Those are words from a person - a real person I know, from my wife´s family side -. He´s in his late 50s, he´s been living out of Venezuela for 20 years, and he has a good life in terms of material things and money: he owns his (nice) house, he has (nice) cars, he has travel a lot, he has a very well paid and good job... But he recently said that words: "I´ve just looked, and I could live for the next 30 years without working, having the same life style I live now, but I feel empty, I have no emotions in my life, I have no joy, I don´t feel happy every morning I wake up...".

He didn´t said that words to me, I just knew about it in a tangent conversation.

But it got me thinking... I´ve never have much money and I´ve never been rich, and it´s been a while that money has been very tight, just enough to cover the basics of basics, but I do feel happy to wake up every day. Yes, I have bad days, I feel hopeless sometimes, but those are just moments that pass; always happy to be alive, mainly for a greater reason up above.

Of course, I won´t say that it wouldn´t feel good to not have money worries, and I´m not gonna say that having money is bad, I´d certainly like to have more zeros in my account; money is not bad per se, actually; what´s wrong is to base your happiness in it, and to only live your life trying to make more and more every day and forgetting about the rest in your life.

My point here is that I prefer to be who I am now, broke, yes, but with love inside of me, with a loving family, a wife and a son whom I´m happy to see every day, having to count carefully every coin we use, than being someone like him, who maybe has everything, but have no joy for each day. That´s like living already dead.

His words made me felt bad for him. But reminded me of why I´m happy and alive.

Don´t forget to live, guys, that´s my christmas message, I guess.

Un abrazo!

uwmcscott · Sat Dec 25, 2021 2:32 pm

It's a pretty common sentiment, especially here in the US ( the idea that money buys happiness ). In fact, it is encouraged quite strongly in some segments of the population. But I definitely know people who make or have inherited massive wealth, and many of them are not happy people because of it. I also know some very wealthy families that are extremely down to earth, happy and charitable with their wealth.

But I wholeheartedly agree @sabasgr68 - happiness comes from within and each day is what we make of it. One of my favorite quotes on the subject is "Wherever you go, there you are". A very sad example is a close friend of mine who's Stepfather was just moved into hospice ( terminal care ) with terminal metastases of melanoma. His stepfather just retired from a very prestigious career as a Lawyer less than a year ago, and while extremely wealthy, worked so hard that he never took the time to enjoy himself.

golem · Sat Dec 25, 2021 2:42 pm

I'm definitely not a money can buy happiness sort of person. But there was a point in my life during my twenties while I was working in South Korea and very ill. I had no job, no apartment, no money and I couldn't eat. It was a terrible experience and I was a wreck. Ever since then I've worked hard to maintain an emergency fund capable of sustaining myself for a few months. It at least takes away the anxiety of having to go through that experience again. My wife grew up poor and in a developing country. We still send several hundred each month to take care of parents, siblings, and the occasional issue arising with an extended family member in need. It's rough! But at least they all have people like that in their life that help out each other like that.

Sat Dec 25, 2021 2:56 pm

Money just makes being unhappy a lot more comfortable.

BatUtilityBelt · Sat Dec 25, 2021 3:02 pm

Money can make it easier to find yourself or lose yourself. Ultimately, you decide who you are regardless.

Cyphre · Sat Dec 25, 2021 3:31 pm

I think that the key to happiness is found in both gratitude and human connection.
I think this comes very naturally for some people. Some learn it. Some don’t.
For me, it’s a process I most often fail at.

But what do I know?

MerryChristmas AGF

andrewsrea · Sat Dec 25, 2021 3:34 pm

Merry Christmas, Sabas!

You keep being the best you you can be!

Houblues · Sat Dec 25, 2021 4:22 pm

mickey wrote: ↑Sat Dec 25, 2021 2:56 pm Money just makes being unhappy a lot more comfortable.

Yes, of course, in many ways. But then you have to deal with those who only like you (or pretend to, perhaps with less than honorable intentions) for it.

I would hate to have to deal with that.

sabasgr68 · Sat Dec 25, 2021 4:27 pm

uwmcscott wrote: ↑Sat Dec 25, 2021 2:32 pm It's a pretty common sentiment, especially here in the US ( the idea that money buys happiness ). In fact, it is encouraged quite strongly in some segments of the population. But I definitely know people who make or have inherited massive wealth, and many of them are not happy people because of it. I also know some very wealthy families that are extremely down to earth, happy and charitable with their wealth.

But I wholeheartedly agree @sabasgr68 - happiness comes from within and each day is what we make of it. One of my favorite quotes on the subject is "Wherever you go, there you are". A very sad example is a close friend of mine who's Stepfather was just moved into hospice ( terminal care ) with terminal metastases of melanoma. His stepfather just retired from a very prestigious career as a Lawyer less than a year ago, and while extremely wealthy, worked so hard that he never took the time to enjoy himself.

You nailed it, Scott. Money is not the real problem. I should have added that, although there are thousands of people like him, there are other thousands with enough money that are completely the opposite, and that´s because they are not tied to money, and something more that you also pointed: they are humble, down to earth people. This guy I´m talking about isn´t precisely that.

It comes from within, like you said, both happiness and unhappiness.

sabasgr68 · Sat Dec 25, 2021 4:32 pm

golem wrote: ↑Sat Dec 25, 2021 2:42 pm I'm definitely not a money can buy happiness sort of person. But there was a point in my life during my twenties while I was working in South Korea and very ill. I had no job, no apartment, no money and I couldn't eat. It was a terrible experience and I was a wreck. Ever since then I've worked hard to maintain an emergency fund capable of sustaining myself for a few months. It at least takes away the anxiety of having to go through that experience again. My wife grew up poor and in a developing country. We still send several hundred each month to take care of parents, siblings, and the occasional issue arising with an extended family member in need. It's rough! But at least they all have people like that in their life that help out each other like that.

You´re doing right, and that´s totally different. It is very wise to have an emergency fund for some months; bad times will always show up from time to time. What a terrible experience you had in SK, golem. If one good thing can be said of that, is that it did teach you good. Generosity is the best gift.

sabasgr68 · Sat Dec 25, 2021 4:35 pm

mickey wrote: ↑Sat Dec 25, 2021 2:56 pm Money just makes being unhappy a lot more comfortable.

Half joke, half true

At the same time, money can turn that unhappiness into happiness if it´s well used

sabasgr68 · Sat Dec 25, 2021 4:37 pm

BatUtilityBelt wrote: ↑Sat Dec 25, 2021 3:02 pm Money can make it easier to find yourself or lose yourself. Ultimately, you decide who you are regardless.

Your last sentence sums it all perfectly, it´s all about you. Not everyone gets it.

sabasgr68 · Sat Dec 25, 2021 4:39 pm

Cyphre wrote: ↑Sat Dec 25, 2021 3:31 pm I think that the key to happiness is found in both gratitude and human connection.
I think this comes very naturally for some people. Some learn it. Some don’t.
For me, it’s a process I most often fail at.

But what do I know?

MerryChristmas AGF

Totally right; and gratitude and human connection come from inside. Some let that come out, some don´t.

sabasgr68 · Sat Dec 25, 2021 4:40 pm

andrewsrea wrote: ↑Sat Dec 25, 2021 3:34 pm Merry Christmas, Sabas!

You keep being the best you you can be!

Same to you, Rob!

sabasgr68 · Sat Dec 25, 2021 4:41 pm

Houblues wrote: ↑Sat Dec 25, 2021 4:22 pm
mickey wrote: ↑Sat Dec 25, 2021 2:56 pm Money just makes being unhappy a lot more comfortable.
Yes, of course, in many ways. But then you have to deal with those who only like you (or pretend to, perhaps with less than honorable intentions) for it.

I would hate to have to deal with that.

It also happens. Not a pleasant thing to deal with, for sure.

Mossman · Sat Dec 25, 2021 9:25 pm

It sounds like your friend has two problems... One is that he has come to realize that money does not bring happiness, and the other is that he needs a job to fill up his time. It's a common complaint you hear from people who retire, and then end up getting bored out of their wits after a few months, because they don't have any interests or pursuits they consider worthwhile, and they end up taking a job as a Walmart greeter to give themselves something to do. I've always felt grateful in that I would never get bored in retirement. I have so many interests and avocations that I don't think I'd have the time to pursue them all satisfactorily even if I didn't have to punch a clock for 8 hours a day. But ironically, I'll most likely have to work a job until the day I die.

sabasgr68 · Sat Dec 25, 2021 10:25 pm

Mossman wrote: ↑Sat Dec 25, 2021 9:25 pm It sounds like your friend has two problems... One is that he has come to realize that money does not bring happiness, and the other is that he needs a job to fill up his time. It's a common complaint you hear from people who retire, and then end up getting bored out of their wits after a few months, because they don't have any interests or pursuits they consider worthwhile, and they end up taking a job as a Walmart greeter to give themselves something to do. I've always felt grateful in that I would never get bored in retirement. I have so many interests and avocations that I don't think I'd have the time to pursue them all satisfactorily even if I didn't have to punch a clock for 8 hours a day. But ironically, I'll most likely have to work a job until the day I die.

He is still working actually. He grew up with the mentality of "you have to be succesful in life" - no matter what -, and he´s also arrogant, so that´s also part of his problems. But I get what you say. Retirement is good if you have some other things to do, that´s what I think.

"But ironically, I'll most likely have to work a job until the day I die".

It resembles me too

jtcnj · Mon Dec 27, 2021 1:59 pm

Those who believe money is road to happiness - often find dead end.

Money is not happiness - but if you have an excess of discretionary dough - spending it on beer, babes, and BBQ with your buddies is!!

Money bringing unhappiness: hearing Yoko Ono sing "Money".

This photo inexplicably posting twice multiplies it exponentially.

Rollin Hand · Wed Dec 29, 2021 3:23 pm

As noted philosopher David Lee Roth once said, "Money can't buy happiness, but it can pay off unhappiness."