The Newest Band I've Joined

[toomanycats]

We debuted this past Friday night, with major drama in the local music scene circling around the event. Put it this way, my doing this gig blew up two other bands, but it was so worth it.

[SamIV]

Sabbath!!!!!

[toomanycats]

Sabbath!!!!!

The singer loves Sabbath, Ozzy, G&R, Roth era Van Halen, Led Zeppelin . . . in short, what I consider the "good stuff." I'm so enthusiastic about being able to play lots of that kind of material in this band.

[tlarson58]

Love it.

[aullucci]

Awesome!

Are we going to get a little more detail about the explosion of the other bands? Cuz that sounds juicy...

[RiverDog]

I love it John! Tasty licks, great songs, and having a blast. Noice!

[Rollin Hand]

Awesome!

Are we going to get a little more detail about the explosion of the other bands? Cuz that sounds juicy...

Seconded, @toomanycats. Enquiring minds want to know!

[bc rich]

[RockYoWorld]

You cause all the drama in your town, don't you?

[toomanycats]

Okay, I'll give you guys the lowdown.

I had been playing in different incarnations of what we will call "the band" for the last two years. I was just getting my toe back in the water playing live after taking about a ten year hiatus from gigging, so it didn't bother me that they weren't too serious about practice, gigging, or musicianship. But I should have known better, because I take anything I do seriously. It's the way I'm wired, I cant help myself. Before long there was tension caused by, on the one hand, my desire to practice more and take on more challenging material, and the desire of the band to take it easy and keep it fun. These guys would talk the talk about getting serious and "taking it to the next level," though they'd never follow through on the practical common sense things that gets a band there. Still, I stuck in there and persevered, focusing my energy on perfecting my own parts, especially my solos.

Covid slowed down the band to the point of standstill, and over time members were either kicked out or quit the band. However, I never slowed down myself, finding other bands and duos to gig with and fulfill my desire to perfect the music. The taste for playing live had taken hold of me again, and I found myself needing more and more of it. It got to the point where I was playing most nights of the week with about five different acts. When the band started gigging again I knew it would only be a matter of time before a scheduling conflict arose. As diplomatically as I could I continued to make ovations for the band to make the changes that could make it a serious player on the local gigging circuit, yet I was resisted at every turn.

The scheduling conflict I was anticipating finally happened last week. Three gigs had been booked for me that Friday night. One of them had to be outright refused. As for the other two gigs, I honesty thought I was going to get away with playing with both groups that night. Time allowed for it, and I had done it many times before and have the stamina for it. The first gig was with a new band I had been asked to join made up of some of the top players in the area, fronted by an amazing vocalist and all around showman. This guy is the singer I've been looking for all my life. The gig with the new band was supposed to be from 5-7 PM. The second gig was from 8-11 PM with the same old band, who had no ambition, ignored my input, didn't have a permanent bass player (because nobody good wanted to sign on to a losing team), and who was coasting on almost the exact same same set list they had been doing for the last year. But then on Tuesday I found out that the gig with the new band had been changed to the exact same time as the old band. I was finally being forced to make a choice.

I thought if the old band had to cancel it would be merciful, like taking dying geriatrics off life support. But when I told the old band that I wouldn't be able to play the gig the passive aggressive guy who had set himself up as "leader who doesn't lead" flipped out, I mean he really had a meltdown. I must have really bruised his ego, because suddenly everything was so serious. I hadn't seen this guy so active and motivated in the previous two years. This was the guy who at a gig just a month ago walked offstage two songs into the show to take a pizza break. He was more interested in melted cheese than in melting faces. So this bozo summarily proclaimed that I had been replaced not only for the Friday gig, but for a gig we had the next day as well. I reasserted that I was available on Saturday and asked what in the hell he was talking about saying I had been replaced for that gig. Serious band decisions such as this had always been determined by vote. His unilaterally dictating that I was being replaced on a gig that I was in fact available for was clearly being done to punish me.

So I play the gig with the new band on Friday night and it kicks arse, we just hit it out of the park. Saturday afternoon rolls around and I'm sitting home at the kitchen table practicing guitar while the old band is playing their winery gig. It was surreal to me. But I couldn't dwell on it too much and let it throw me off balance because I had a gig that evening with yet another act I play with, and then another gig the following day with yet another act. This is what my schedule has become like, and I must stay focused.

Understand, I named that old band. Without false modestly, I put much more effort into it than any of them. I actually carried those slackers most of the time when they forgot lyrics, or chords, or entire arrangements. I also built a following of people who came to our shows mostly to see me play guitar. That I was being forbidden to play a gig with this band, without any reasonable explanation, was absurd. What was equally bizarre was they they didn't say I was kicked out of the band either. It was like I had been benched, or told to stand in the corner facing the wall because I'd been bad.

That was the end with these guys for me. So "the band" itself finally went kablooey, along with a duo I did as a spin off with Mr. Dictator. The full line up of the band is down to Mr. Dictator and a drummer who has became his sycophant. I honestly don't have the heart to tell that guy that his own head is on the chopping block, as just six weeks ago Mr. Dictator was planning to oust him.

There is a lesson to be learned here in how to survive. This insurance salesman, who was undoubtedly the least talented member of "the band," insured his own survival through all the changes by making it his job to have all the contacts with the venues, booking the gigs, and always collecting the money. However, it is a type of survival without honor, akin to the man who sneaked onto a lifeboat dressed as a woman while the Titanic was sinking. You're the last man standing, but the manner of your survival is not something to boast about; in fact, you will have to fabricate a great lie to explain yourself.

[Rollin Hand]

Presented graphically, this does make sense.

Oh well -- sometimes it takes something like this to kickstart something new and good. I hope for you that this is the case, vecause it spunds like the new band is in your musical wheelhouse.

[bleys21]

I love that you made a graphic! I almost didn't click on it, until Rollin pointed it out.

Good luck with the serious players...that sounds way more up your alley.

[aullucci]

Certainly sounds to me like you made the right call. On to bigger and better things!

[SamIV]

And they play Sabbath.

[Rollin Hand]

And they play Sabbath.

That sums it up, doesn't it?

[RockYoWorld]

This just makes me more happy that my band is drama free. Sorry to hear all the hastles!

[Milkman]

And they play Sabbath.

And on top of that, the singer had the Ozzy headbang/handclap moves NAILED DOWN!

[toomanycats]

And they play Sabbath.

And on top of that, the singer had the Ozzy headbang/handclap moves NAILED DOWN!

He also has the Ozzy lifestyle nailed down. I'm talking Ozzy circa 1970s and 1980s. When we play it is a guaranteed rock and roll show, no holds barred, just like in the old days.

There was a moment right before we started the show, standing outside with the other guys who were all smoking cigarettes, when I had a flashback of being in middle school and hanging out with the "bad kids" in the bathroom before class. Somebody opened the door to the bar and said "Showtime," but I could have sworn I heard, "Time for class." These are the "bad boys" I'm hanging with now. Maybe not the bass player though. He's the quiet one. Swear to God, and you may not believe this, but we never once rehearsed before this gig. I mean I had literally never played with this drummer and bass player before. We just winged that show.

[Rollin Hand]

And they play Sabbath.

And on top of that, the singer had the Ozzy headbang/handclap moves NAILED DOWN!

He also has the Ozzy lifestyle nailed down. I'm talking Ozzy circa 1970s and 1980s. When we play it is a guaranteed rock and roll show, no holds barred, just like in the old days.

There was a moment right before we started the show, standing outside with the other guys who were all smoking cigarettes, when I had a flashback of being in middle school and hanging out with the "bad kids" in the bathroom before class. Somebody opened the door to the bar and said "Showtime," but I could have sworn I heard, "Time for class." These are the "bad boys" I'm hanging with now. Maybe not the bass player though. He's the quiet one. Swear to God, and you may not believe this, but we never once rehearsed before this gig. I mean I had literally never played with this drummer and bass player before. We just winged that show.

Rock 'n' f$^#£n roll, man

[bleys21]

Oh, and watch out for the quiet ones...methinks the bassist has some crazy sh*t going on that you just don't know about lol

[jhull54]

Wait a second. Is the douchebag the same guy who was turning your amp down onstage??

[toomanycats]

Wait a second. Is the douchebag the same guy who was turning your amp down onstage??

No, that was the guy who is shown quitting in panel 3 of the band history graphic above. Let's take a walk down memory lane and remember the good old bad days.
You can see "turn down my amp guy" thinking about putting his hands on my gear starting at 0:10, turning away, then thinking about it some more, and then finally no longer being able to resist his obsessive compulsive behavior.
Douchebag is on the far right. Douchebag has also blocked and unfriended most everybody on that stage, and challenged one to a karate match.

[nomadh]

Awesome!

Are we going to get a little more detail about the explosion of the other bands? Cuz that sounds juicy...

Seconded, @toomanycats. Enquiring minds want to know!

Yea, music yada yada yada. What about the drama?

[toomanycats]

For those who like the drama . . .

But first to provide some context. When I joined "The Band" it was a five piece. We switched drummers and went on for a while in that configuration. An original member quite, bringing us down to a four piece. We changed the name (to one that I came up with) and debuted as a new band with an emphasis on classic rock instead of strictly blues. After one show in this configuration the bass player quit, and I suspect it was because Mr Dictator had taken over as lead singer and laid a massive stink bomb at the debut gig. We played the next several (sporadic) gigs with a series of stand in bass players, and several of them flat out turned down the offer to join. At this point I was gigging with several others acts most nights of the week, which required me to learn copious amounts of new material, all while still attending practice for "The Band," where we spent most time auditioning a series of new bass players. My main take away from these tryouts had little to do with how good/bad the bass player was, but rather how awful Mr Dictator was. It was Mr Dictator who was miserably failing these auditions, having adopted this terrible, croaking, screechy style of vocal delivery (I believe in a desperate attempt to compete with the real singers I had begun working with), his guitar timing out the window, and completely unable to keep his instrument in tune. This is the context in which the following emails begin. The names of the innocent have been redacted.


June 1. John email to Mike and Brett

"Regarding practice tonight: At South Creek on Saturday XXXXXXXXX agreed to play bass with us at the Catawba Farms gig on June 10th. I don't believe his schedule will afford him time to practice with us before that date. I see no point in practicing with another bass player before that date. I suggest that we each familiarize ourselves with our own parts. I'd also like the set lists for that show set in stone ASAP. We all need a copy so we can each practice the exact songs we will be performing that day. XXXXX especially will benefit from having the exact set list well in advance of the date.   

Regarding the bass player XXXXX:  He asked us how often we wanted to gig, saying that he wants to play at least a couple times every weekend. He complained that the other musicians he is involved with don't want to play as often as he does. Brett said that 2 or 3 gigs a month is a good pace for himself. What that means to me in a practical sense is that like me, XXXXX would have to be involved in other gigging acts in order to play as often as he would like to. There will inevitably be scheduling conflicts between Bourbon Arcade and XXXXX's other bands. In the end XXXXX would be a sub, just like XXXXX and XXXXX. Between those three bass players I liked XXXXX's style and sound the least. Given the choice of a sub bass player for any given gig, my pick would be XXXXX, XXXXX, and XXXXX last. 

To be honest, I am bored with half the songs on the set list. I have played them countless times, and the audience has heard them countless times through three different iterations of this band (FMBB, Four Door Sedan, Bourbon Arcade). I have literally witnessed people in the audience tell us to stop playing them and learn something new. I can play these songs in my sleep. They are is unexciting, unchallenging, and what is worse, do not push my abilities and force me to grow as a musician. 

I played over 20 gigs this past month. I spent an enormous amount of time learning new material, driving to shows, playing the shows, and everything else involved in the endeavor. I've also go myself involved in some recording projects where I need to learn, compose, perform, and record/produce some material. Keep in mind, none of that interferes with Bourbon Arcade. If during that same time I had been required to learn a long list of new songs for Bourbon Arcade I would have taken that on too. So the issue isn't about me spreading myself too thin; it's just that the idea of driving out to Hickory to a band practice where I'll play the same songs I've played a hundred times, that I can play in my sleep, seems pointless to me. My playing time is extremely valuable and at this point I need to justify a reason for packing my gear in the car, driving somewhere, and wearing out my hands. Practice time has to have a definite point, things have to be accomplished, and ground has to be gained.  

What would be interesting is if there were a half dozen new songs we were going to get down every time we practiced. I'm talking about specific types of songs. Over and over I hear members of the audience repeatedly ask for the same songs by the same artists, which would be ZZ TOP, Stevie Ray Vaughn, BB King, Skynyrd, Led Zeppelin, Van Halen, AC/DC, and other 70s rock bands. It is puzzling to me that we do not already do this material because it was my understanding that this was the exact direction the band was going after Tim quit and we dropped the strictly blues label. I watch as people "check out" when we play obscure and unfamiliar material, either staring down at their phones, or literally getting up to leave. We do not need to add one more single obscure song to the set list; we do not need to add one more slow, low energy  song to the set list. 

I want you guys to think about something: The single greatest reaction we got from people at South Creek on Saturday is when they heard the opening riff to "Tush." They knew it in the first few seconds. When you see other local bands like "Deacon Black," "Doesn't Madder," "Opal," and many others, most of their set list are songs like that . . .  recognizable, people can sing along to them because they know all the words,, they can dance to them. Every one of those bands packs the venue they play every Friday and Saturday night. XXXXXX himself told us that he made $250 in one night on an Opal gig. There's a reason for that; it's not rocket science, and I just outlined a big part of it in this email. 

Anyways, just wanted to air all of this. I'm looking forward to the Catawba Farms gig. If there is a possibility XXXXXX could do a full band rehearsal with us before then I think that would be very beneficial in tying up some of the looser bits. Maybe you guys can reach out to him." 
   


June 1. Mike email to John

"Hi John,
I understand your feelings about practicing tonight - so no go tonight.  

As far as the other issues about set lists, etc. I think we need to have some discussion as a band to get us all in synch.  For me, I need to do a little homework to be able to have a productive meeting and to bring some suggestions to the table.  There are a lot of variables at play.

Thanks,
Mike"



June 2. Brett email to John

"Here is the set list. Pretty much what we've been doing but added Tush.  Yes I think a band meeting would be useful.

John, as far as your tiredness of doing a lot of these songs, like I told you before, I am excited about bringing new songs to the mix. We brought a few in toward the end of FMBB, and added a few more. But then Phil quit, and we got in replacement mode, which then we didn't get together to even discuss new material. There are several songs that would be cool and upbeat to do: Rebel, Rebel(Bowie),  Prince, SRV,.   If you had an idea for an addition, you could've brought it up at any time.

Regarding XXXXX, yeah he's not, from the one time he played with us, a top choice. But it would've been great if those concerns were voiced at the time I asked for feedback. Right?

Be more specific in the obscure material you are referring to. Is it "Help Me"? Ain't Supertitious?  Old Love?  What?

I will see if XXXXX can practice next week. That would help" 



*June 2. John email to Brett

"RE: “If you had an idea for an addition, you could've brought it up at any time."

Please refer to the attached text from two months ago, dated April 4th,  in which I list 7 specific songs I wanted to add at that time. You gave that text the thumbs up. We never added a single one of those songs. 

My struggle to add new songs has been going on since before Phil left, since long before Tim left, all the way back to when we were practicing in Tim's shed and Mark was still in the band. Since that time I said it would keep it interesting for the audience if we changed out the the entire show at least twice a year. That's why I  bought the marker board that hung on the wall in Tim's practice shed and suggested that the band learn at least one new song a week."  



*June 15. John email to Brett and Mike

"I will not be available for the Red Buffalo show on Friday June 18th because I have a gig at The Vault with Allen Ward, June Alias, and LA Freeman at that same date and time. 

I am available for the Silver Fork gig on the afternoon of Saturday June 19th, though I will have to leave immediately after for another show I have scheduled in Morgantown that evening. 

Please do not try to frame this as if I'm bailing on a Bourbon Arcade gig at the 11th hour. You have been aware of my unhappiness since June 1st, when I wrote a long and detailed email in which I laid out my specific issues.  Instead of addressing my issues at that time, you chose to ignore them for the last two weeks. Now here we are.  

My issues stated again:

1) That the band does not add new material quickly enough.
2) That the band is not adding material that the audience is requesting.
3) That my specific suggestions for new songs are being ignored. 
4) I stated that my practice time is valuable and insisted that such time must be spent productively.  

I was told that my issues could have been voiced at any time. The fact is, they were voiced, over and over again; and anyone who claims otherwise is proving my point that I have been ignored. 

I was also told that there would be a band meeting to discuss my concerns. There has been no such meeting in the last two weeks; nor have there been any phone calls, emails, or texts. Apparently not only are you unconcerned that I'm unhappy in this situation, but you don't even want to talk about it. It's clear that I'm not being taken seriously, and that my input doesn't matter. 

Case in point, just the other day I saw Bourbon Arcade advertised as an R&B band. Who took it upon themselves to change our primary genre from rock to R&B? That is a decision a band makes together. Clearly, I am not part of such decisions. 

Going forward, considering that I have extremely limited input to the direction of this band, and that I am already familiar with all of the existing material, and that new material is added at such a slow pace that I can keep up to date without any difficulty, I'm only interested in playing the gigs. Tell me the dates, and I'l let you know if I'm available."      



June 15. Mike email to John

"Hi John,

I am sorry you feel ignored, it certainly wasn’t my intent.  For the record, I did respond (I have copied it below, for your review) - to which I have never seen a  response from you.  I only mention this to make the point that I didn't ignore your concerns.  

You have made a choice concerning Friday night and, regardless of the circumstances, justified or otherwise, you ARE leaving us in a real bind at the "11th hour". 

I have been supportive of your other musical endeavors and understand that conflicts can occur.  In my experience, when I have had a booking conflict with any group I have played with I have 1. Given the priority to the group that booked me first and 2. Been extremely active in securing a sub and in assisting that sub in being as successful at the gig as possible.  It is a point of personal  professionalism, to me.

I am glad you can play Saturday and I am asking that you help us fill your spot on Friday and to help the band fulfill our commitment to Red Buffalo.  I would also ask that you be present for rehearsal tonight because we are trying to get a bass player up to speed for the weekend and to also assess his skills as a possible replacement.  I hope you have an interest in that decision.

I promise you I will make it a priority to address your concerns.  When can we meet?  I am sorry, I have a commitment every night this week.  I could be available Saturday AM and am open every evening next week except Wed.   have a commitment Wednesday evening.  Please advise."



*June 15. John email to Mike

"Mike,

Worse case scenario, Red Buffalo can post online that they need a band to fill in on Friday night and they will without a doubt receive multiple responses and offers. I'm confident that the venue will not be left in a bind. 

The guitar players who I'd recommend subbing for me would be XXXXX and XXXXXX, both of who have played bass with us, though they are both primarily lead guitar players. However, as they were both unavailable to play bass for the gig, I assume they are likewise unavailable to play guitar. I literally do not know anybody else who I could call. In any case, the combination of a brand new bass player and a sub guitar player is probably not going to be a gig you'd want to play anyways. 

As far as practice tonight, considering that the bass player only knows a small fraction of our show, and that we have a show on Saturday, anything less than practicing the entire show tonight would be lame. So yes, I'm available for that kind of real practice. Because otherwise we're going to show up a Silver Fork to provide professional entertainment, take their money, and then sound like a garage band. We will be lucky if we don't embarrass ourselves. I don't want to be put in that position, as I've practiced  to know my own parts and I've worked hard to build a reputation for myself as  being a competent musician. That is important to me. That is also part of meeting one's obligation to the venue. So please, if I come I'd like to not see anyone staring down at their watches two hours into practice tonight and looking for the exit. If I'm coming, I'm coming to play, get some work done, and make sure we are prepared. 

Please don't take my tone as cold or gruff, because I do not mean to come off like that. I know you've been supportive, and I thank you. Just know that I am very serious about the music, about putting the time in to get better, whatever it takes. I do not feel as though everyone is on the same page with me in this regard. 

Mike, I don't know if you missed it, but a few months ago we were heckled onstage and told to stop playing the some old Fried Melon songs. If that isn't a wake up call I don't know what is. Every band I know who has been playing together as long as we have has a hundred, maybe two hundred songs in their list. They can constantly rotate them from show to show so both the band and the audience doesn't get bored. Do you realize that this will be the 3rd year I've played at Silver Fork Winery, and I will be playing almost all of the same songs. Something is not right about that.   

I know you are sincere in saying you'll listen to me, but the fact is, the person who sings and makes the set list has ultimate veto power. If Brett won't sing a song, it'll never get played, simple as that. I literally know hundreds of songs, and all he'd have to do is sing them. No disrespect to the skill of drumming, but you could fall in easily. We could add dozens of songs overnight. But Brett won't do it. The guy already sings while reading the lyrics from a binder, so no problem there. But you can't make him do it and I can't make him do it. I finally pushed the issue two weeks ago and look where it got me. The guy is now ignoring me. Either he doesn't have the talent, the time, or the motivation to do what I'm asking. In any case I'm fairly sure he's not going to move off dead center. 

Maybe next week you and I can get together."



*June 15. Brett email to John

"John,

We've got Friday and Saturday covered with other players.  As far as Bourbon Arcade going forward, that is all up in the air; to be determined.
 Brett"



*June 15. John email to Brett and Mike

"I have explained the conflict I have on Friday the 18th. Conflicts happen, it was bound to eventually happen with all the gigs I play, you took care of it. 

I also made it very clear that I am available to play the Bourbon Arcade gig as scheduled at Silver Fork on Saturday. 

Bourbon Arcade is my band too. I have invested much time and energy in it. I can guarantee you that for every hour you've spent working on the material, I've spent ten. What makes you think that by your own fiat you can award somebody else with my position in my own band on Saturday? That is not your decision to make. . . unless you think that it's your band, and that you have a right to make those decisions because you're in charge. Is that what you think Brett?   

I turned down other shows to play that Silver Fork gig on Saturday. I've come to rely on the money I make from gigs to pay my bills. Your  immature behavior is interfering with my income. I'm missing one gig and you decide to go "scorched earth." Really?    

I'm asking you questions, so please don't ignore me like you've done since two weeks ago when I attempted to address the issue of you disregarding the new songs I want to add.  

Is Bourbon Arcade your band? Do you think you have the right to decide, on your own, to give my position to somebody else? 

We're waiting for your answers to these questions. I have made XXXXXX privy to this conversation as she is my manager."

*June 15. Mike email to John
"Thanks for the response John.  I don't think you should bother with practice tonight.  I talked to Brett and this weeknd's gigs are covered and I think the whole band might be over.  Maybe things will change with some space... We will see.  I will be in touch.

Thanks,
Mike"



June 15. Mike email to John

"John,
I was not aware of your situation regarding scheduling ,and the potential of a conflict on Friday night, when I received your email this afternoon.  We have since talked and I have a better understanding of the situation. I don't want to get into any details and start another round of email misunderstandings.  But, you need to know that I supported the decision to replace you for both gigs - Brett didn't act alone.  Yes, that decision was made before we talked tonight and, with hindsight, perhaps it wasn't the best decision.  But, you have to understand that we went into "panic" mode and started contacting everyone we could think of to get a sub for you.  As I said on the phone earlier, we also felt it would be wiser and easier to get someone booked for 2 nights rather than 1 and that my focus was getting through these 2 gigs and then come up for air.  I hope we can meet next week to clear these differences and, regardless of the outcome, have a better understanding and respect where  everyone stands.

Sincerely,
Mike"



June 16. Brett email to John
"John, 
 
Let's you and I meet up Thursday or Friday and talk in person. Can't today. We are having a family medical emergency and will be in Charlotte. Been up since 3 am.  We can meet downtown, under the sails, as we have in the past.  You name the time.

I will however address a couple of your questions here 
* No, this is not my band. We are a collective. But, since I do the booking, it puts my reputation on the line with the venues, when there are last minute conflicts.
* I also would like to add fresh songs. You're right; you do spend more time working on songs. It takes longer for me.
* You are a talented, gifted guitarist, but your email tirades and demands are exhausting. Let's please find a better way to express. 

All for now. Let me know the time. 

Thanks,
Brett"



*June 16. John email to Brett and Mike
"So the band is a collective (a democracy), but as the booking agent you reserve for yourself emergency executive powers. That's a cute little backdoor power grab, but "No," that's not how it works.  

Let's be very clear here, there was no crisis on Saturday. That is a manufactured notion used for the real intention of punishing me by kicking me off the gig. After informing you that I couldn't make Friday's gig due to an unforeseen conflict, Mike contacted me and insisted that I come to practice that night. At 6:00 PM I had my equipment packed in the car and was on my way out the door to Hickory for an anticipated long practice session to prepare the band for Saturday’s gig. I was coming because just showing up to a gig isn’t good enough to secure one's reputation; it encompasses showing up and not sounding like a garage band. So you knew I was able to do the gig on Saturday, and that I was coming to practice ready to work, and you therefore knew there was no Saturday crisis. But then at 6:01 I received your email decreeing  that I was out of the gig on Saturday. So explain that to me. I’ll explain it for you: Your intent is solely to punish me.   

You belittle my messages as "tirades,” as if a person who composes a thorough, well thought out correspondence . . . one that isn't merely a few sentences, some OMGs, and emojis . . . is borderline off their rocker. My "tirades" are the adult use of language used by people who have an attention span and articulate thoughts. How would you suggest I "better express" myself other than using arguments backed up by provable facts? If you have a limited attention span and ability to follow premises and conclusions, that's a fault of yours, not of mine. If a page of exposition exhausts you then how do you possibly manage to write insurance policies?

As for my so called "demands," I can only assume you're referring to my desire to have greater input over song choices; that the band play material requested by the audience; that we drop songs we've been playing for years and refresh the list. You go tell all your musician friends about these unreasonable demands that John is making and see how sympathetic they are for your plight. Go ahead and let them read my messages, post them online if you want and see what kind of feedback you get. The truth, we'd already be enjoying a lot of the fruits of my "demands," might even be a major player on the local gigging circuit, if not for the fact that there has been terrible slacking going on in this band for a long time. 

You want to meet me to talk in private, while at the same time you've made plans to publicly humiliate me through replacement. No, there will be no private conversations. This will play out publicly, just like your show on Saturday.  People in this town have come to know me by my character and my reputation. They know I'm reliable, prepared, professional, and amiable. They know that I'm juggling five different acts, and that I have done so without conflict until Friday. If you use this fabricated situation as a pretense to "bench me" when I'm available for a gig with my own band, then people are going to know everything about how it all went down." 



*June 16. Brett email to John.
"Whatever John. I offered. Not trying to publicly humiliate you. I don't need to hide behind emails. Nothing can really be resolved.  Adults can talk in person. 

From the email you sent Tuesday, it really seemed you do not want to play with
us, as if we are below you." 



*June 19. Mike to John.
"John,
This is the first chance I have had to respond to this email.  Quite simply, I believe you are making some incorrect assumptions as to what we were thinking or why any of these booking decisions were made.  I 
 felt I had explained the Saturday booking situation with you when we talked on Tuesday (and also in an email).  I can tell you that our conversation Tuesday helped me have a different perspective as to your situation - something different than what I had perceived from your initial email.  

You have a right to your opinion, but not even the concept of punishing you or humiliating you was a factor in our decisions.  Honestly, I don't know how anyone would even know there was a  conflict.  Every band has had to have a sub for a regular member - it is not an anomaly.

It is clear to me that emails and texts are not the best vehicle for resolving these issues.  Both Brett and I have stated we  would prefer to meet face to face to open up the lines of communication and  discuss the issues at hand.  I don't know any better way to show good faith but to extend that invitation.

I hope your gig at the Vault went well.

Sincerely,
Mike"



*June 19. John email to Mike.
"Thanks for responding Mike. 

My show went well last night. Going to post some of it on my Youtube channel latter today, so you can check it out if you want. Hope you had a good show was well. I mean that sincerely. I don't have any malice towards you. I honestly don't believe you have any towards me either, although, believing that you are reasonable person with a conscience, I feel you have been led down the wrong moral path in this situation. Let me try to explain that. 

A band is a collective endeavor, an informal business, a gentleman's agreement if you will. We jointly labor to build something, and jointly reap the rewards. It might be a poor metaphor, but consider a group of farmers who till the land together, plant, and tend to the crops. When it's time to harvest they share in the reward. A band is not completely dissimilar. You put in the work, the practice, both alone and in rehearsal, and the harvest is the paying gigs. Without exaggeration I have practiced hundreds of hours to hone my personal performance. I don't know how many hours I've spent practicing with the band, but we both know that it's a lot, and we both know that I'm always prepared. I've worked extremely hard to make the band the best that it can be. Now let's return to my farmer metaphor. Suppose that a group of three farmers all put their time in working a piece of land together, and when it comes time to harvest and reap the fruits of their efforts, two of the famers tell the third one that he doesn't get to partake. That is exactly what is happening to me at the June 19th gig. I want you to think about that while your sitting behind the drum kit looking at whoever it is standing there in the place where I should be. I don't know what that person has been told about this situation, but they are harvesting what isn't theirs.     

Brett's response to my email was "Whatever." I'm trying to wrap my mind around an adult man who responds to such earnest and serious words with Valley Girl talk. He also said that I'm hiding behind my emails, suggesting the completely lunatic idea that I'm afraid of him. He also told somebody that my economic situation allows me to practice more than him, and that's why I can learn songs faster. These are the words of a person with a jealous, bitter soul; they are an attempt to discredit my hard work, personal effort, and my dedication to my craft, and wrongfully attribute my preparedness to what is in his mind an unfair advantage. Again, these are the thoughts of an extremely insecure, resentful, and immature person. But, if the man would deny me making my money, why not also deny me credit for my very efforts.  

I would like to correspond with you some more Mike. I've got things I need to do at the moment however. We will be in contact. 

In the meantime, if you can, please explain to me how Brett and yourself not letting me play that gig at 2 PM today is not denying me the fruits of my labors, and is not unethical and immoral. Some other person will be reaping my harvest on that stage today, the $100 or whatever it is. You two are not letting me reap what is mine."   

[toomanycats]

I've got a gig as a duo with the singer of the new band on Wednesday night and on Saturday night. As his last name is Ward, and my moniker is "The Wizard", I thought this was a fun promotional poster: