Ugiliest major production guitars ever

[nomadh]

For many years, I did not want anyting to do with the look, sound or feel of a Stratocaster. The ugly clownshoe headstocks...

But in most cases they are REVERSE clownshoe headstocks

I hear you. I still think that SX SJM (and now Liquid) is ugly. When I first saw them, it was almost shocking. Yet so cool. Now that I even have a Jazzmaster, which I've wanted for a LOOOONG time, I still think SJM are cool, I wish I could have a P/J bass in that shape, it would make for a great stage look.

I'll admit, when I first got into playing, I thought strats looked most "like an electric guitar" to me. Les Pauls seemed weird and uncool, teles seemed simple and rough cut (and not enough pickups) and Jazzmasters and Jaguars, I thought those vibrato tailpieces were ugly. And my preferences didn't change because of any particular player, stuff just grew on me.

If I had to pick the best designed and best looking shape I'd have to say strat. Even if I am kind of sick of it. Its still impressive 70 years later. Vaguely traditional guitar shaped yet totally modern upgraded with the shape and contours. Longer horn for balance in both function and looks. Simplified with a bolt on neck. Break proof using maple and flat headstock. Added a trem without costing alot. Even the jack integrated into the body. Cheaper to build with the electronics on the PG. All while making it look like the jetsons vs a model T. You can like it or not but on the surface it just looks like you get a huge bang for buck in many ways plus upgraded styling.

[Gear_Junky]

If I had to pick the best designed and best looking shape I'd have to say strat. Even if I am kind of sick of it. Its still impressive 70 years later. Vaguely traditional guitar shaped yet totally modern upgraded with the shape and contours. Longer horn for balance in both function and looks. Simplified with a bolt on neck. Break proof using maple and flat headstock. Added a trem without costing alot. Even the jack integrated into the body. Cheaper to build with the electronics on the PG. All while making it look like the jetsons vs a model T. You can like it or not but on the surface it just looks like you get a huge bang for buck in many ways plus upgraded styling.

100% agreed. Even though I have no strats and zero GAS for one, they are so ubiquitous, taken for granted, yet back then it was absolutely insane, futuristic and slick. 6 tuners on top is also very comfy and that was done stylishly. Strat, tele and Precisions have spawned quite the family, too - P and J bass, the offset guitars. And then all the variations everywhere, uber-strats, etc. I like traditional guitars, but I'd rather mod and tinker with Leo-inspired guitars.

[Mossman]

When I was a kid, you couldn't pay me to play a Fender. Too old-school... Too "traditional". I wanted something that was modern and sleek, like an Ibanez or a Yamaha, not something my grandpa would have played (if he played guitar). I only played bass back then, but I had no idea why anyone would want to own a Telecaster. I thought they were the ugliest guitars ever made, from the lumpy headstock down to the frumpy slab body, and I was certain that if I ever started playing guitar, I'd steer clear of them.

Now, most of my basses and guitars are Fender, or Fender-style, and you all know what a Tele fanatic I am. And yeah, it's not because of any of my musical heroes... When Geddy Lee started playing his '72 Jazz Bass full-time back in the '90s, it didn't make me want a Jazz Bass. In fact, when I finally bought my first Jazz Bass, I still didn't even really want a Jazz Bass (long story). And none of my guitar heroes (except for George Harrison, briefly), played a Tele. I acquired guitar heroes like Roy Buchanan, Danny Gatton, Albert Lee, etc., after I got into Teles.

Whenever I did buy a guitar because of hero worship (like my regrettable run with Rickenbackers), I've always been somewhat unsatisfied. Because you're buying a guitar that suits somebody else... not you. I wouldn't say Fenders grew on me, so much as I discovered things about them that I never knew, because none of my opinions came from actual experience!

As far as ugly production guitars go, anything that Gibson made with the words "non-reverse" in the name gets my first vote... anything that Gibson made with the word "reverse" in the name gets my second vote. I also never liked the RD, either...

I always forget about the Firebird X. I never saw one in real life, so it doesn't actually feel real to me, but that is actually the ugliest guitar that Gibson has made since the Moderne, IMO.

Oh yeah, the Moderne is ugly...

But I kinda like the Corvus.

[Gear_Junky]

Whenever I did buy a guitar because of hero worship (like my regrettable run with Rickenbackers), I've always been somewhat unsatisfied. Because you're buying a guitar that suits somebody else...

I agree. It's not only that, it's also that you're getting a guitar that maybe looks like it, but is nothing like the guitar the "hero" plays. A guy that sometimes played with us had a modern US standard strat (and a tiny solid-state practice amp that did no justice, of course, but we were all gear poor then). He liked Clapton and he'd say "if it's good enough for Eric Clapton, it's good enough for me". But even then I knew that it's nothing like Clapton's guitar. Same goes for amps, too. I was recently looking up info on the Crate Palomino and came across a post at a Marshall forum (years ago). The dude was curious and enthused about the amp, but he just had to ask if "any of the pros play it", like it's some mandatory credential.

Also agree on your "modern" sentiment. I really REALLY wanted an Ibanez bass - the ErgoDyne. Plastic, er, ok, "luthite". I actually had Yamaha bass (that I got on non-traditional looks, 24-fret neck and low price). And I had a Yamaha guitar. Yamaha RBX160 bass and Pacifica 412 guitar were the best beginner instruments I had - quality fretboards/necks, decent sound (got better with new pickups), playability, looks. I got other stuff because I wanted, not because I needed it. And both yammies went to friends. Right now a P-bass, or a P/J are my idea of all I want in a bass.

Ooh, and yes, Les Pauls seemed dorky to me for a while until I was exposed to them more and until I actually heard them played at the store. I didn't so much watch, but rather listened to the music I liked, so I had no idea (nor care) what the musicians played.

[DonM]

Anything without a head. Hate them.

[nomadh]

Whenever I did buy a guitar because of hero worship (like my regrettable run with Rickenbackers), I've always been somewhat unsatisfied. Because you're buying a guitar that suits somebody else...

I agree. It's not only that, it's also that you're getting a guitar that maybe looks like it, but is nothing like the guitar the "hero" plays. A guy that sometimes played with us had a modern US standard strat (and a tiny solid-state practice amp that did no justice, of course, but we were all gear poor then). He liked Clapton and he'd say "if it's good enough for Eric Clapton, it's good enough for me". But even then I knew that it's nothing like Clapton's guitar. Same goes for amps, too. I was recently looking up info on the Crate Palomino and came across a post at a Marshall forum (years ago). The dude was curious and enthused about the amp, but he just had to ask if "any of the pros play it", like it's some mandatory credential.

Also agree on your "modern" sentiment. I really REALLY wanted an Ibanez bass - the ErgoDyne. Plastic, er, ok, "luthite". I actually had Yamaha bass (that I got on non-traditional looks, 24-fret neck and low price). And I had a Yamaha guitar. Yamaha RBX160 bass and Pacifica 412 guitar were the best beginner instruments I had - quality fretboards/necks, decent sound (got better with new pickups), playability, looks. I got other stuff because I wanted, not because I needed it. And both yammies went to friends. Right now a P-bass, or a P/J are my idea of all I want in a bass.

Ooh, and yes, Les Pauls seemed dorky to me for a while until I was exposed to them more and until I actually heard them played at the store. I didn't so much watch, but rather listened to the music I liked, so I had no idea (nor care) what the musicians played.

I have an ergodyne in luthite. I got it cheap because the owner did a fancy spin around his back and it flew across the stage and shattered the bottom corner of it. It still plays fine. Feels good, plays good. Smells like a gasoline spill in a junk yard. Part of it is the exposed luthite foam body but I hear even non broken ones will gas you. 20 years later it will still knock you back as you open the case even after a few days.

[Gear_Junky]

I have an ergodyne in luthite. I got it cheap because the owner did a fancy spin around his back and it flew across the stage and shattered the bottom corner of it. It still plays fine. Feels good, plays good. Smells like a gasoline spill in a junk yard. Part of it is the exposed luthite foam body but I hear even non broken ones will gas you. 20 years later it will still knock you back as you open the case even after a few days.

Hilarious! And disturbing. Aside from the smell, I would expect those fumes to chemically degrade an interior of a case. Nobody likes to open a case to see that luxurious "plush" turn into sticky glue bonded to the instrument. But then if any instrument could live without a case, it's a luthite one - hang it on a wall and fuhgedaboudit

[glasshand]

I actually don't think the Corvus is the ugliest thing ever, although it's not what I would call a great beauty. I just know it will always come up in these threads. For me, it's probably one of the ridiculous battle-ax or AK-47-shaped ones. But the bass world does offer a whole lot of high-dollar, beautifully finished, exquisitely made basses that still manage to resemble the Elephant Man, if you ask me.

[Gear_Junky]

.

Yes! That looks like some sort of a tumorous growth or a goiter

[Rollin Hand]

I actually don't think the Corvus is the ugliest thing ever, although it's not what I would call a great beauty. I just know it will always come up in these threads. For me, it's probably one of the ridiculous battle-ax or AK-47-shaped ones. But the bass world does offer a whole lot of high-dollar, beautifully finished, exquisitely made basses that still manage to resemble the Elephant Man, if you ask me.

Hey, neck is stable.....

[solteroblues]

I am on the side that likes the RD.

This, on the other hand......

https://m.thomannmusic.com/harley_bento ... 1603819291

I think the European Union made them round the bottom point off, you know, so that passerbys wouldn't get speared like they won't allow sharp points on the front of cars over there LOL

[Gear_Junky]

I actually don't think the Corvus is the ugliest thing ever, although it's not what I would call a great beauty. I just know it will always come up in these threads. For me, it's probably one of the ridiculous battle-ax or AK-47-shaped ones. But the bass world does offer a whole lot of high-dollar, beautifully finished, exquisitely made basses that still manage to resemble the Elephant Man, if you ask me.

Hey, neck is stable.....

Is it ever!

[Mossman]

I actually don't think the Corvus is the ugliest thing ever, although it's not what I would call a great beauty. I just know it will always come up in these threads. For me, it's probably one of the ridiculous battle-ax or AK-47-shaped ones. But the bass world does offer a whole lot of high-dollar, beautifully finished, exquisitely made basses that still manage to resemble the Elephant Man, if you ask me.

There's a large contingent of bassists who love those "single-cuts", as they're called. I think most people think they're ugly as sin, but that design apparently contributes to a great amount of resonance and sustain. They say you can feel the whole instrument vibrating as you play it. I don't have enough money to get near one of them fancy boo-teek basses, so I've never played one for myself. Rondo has offered a similar design in the past (the "Freak" bass), but I could never convince myself to pull the trigger, and Kurt seems bass-averse in recent years, so I doubt we'll ever see it again.

Speaking of ugly; the kind of cats who dig this kind of bass are also the same guys who will pay $7,000 to have a bass made out of nine different kinds of exotic wood that have no business being part of the same instrument. The top is usually some deep rain forest wood with an unpronounceable name, and a "grain" that looks like rancid cottage cheese floating in a pool of gasahol. And they'll keep a thread going on TalkBass for two or three years as they wait for their abomination to be built... If it ever will be... It's not uncommon for these luthiers to take on too many orders and grossly over-estimate how fast they can build instruments, until they ultimately run out of (your) money.

[Gear_Junky]

Speaking of ugly; the kind of cats who dig this kind of bass are also the same guys who will pay $7,000 to have a bass made out of nine different kinds of exotic wood that have no business being part of the same instrument. The top is usually some deep rain forest wood with an unpronounceable name, and a "grain" that looks like rancid cottage cheese floating in a pool of gasahol. And they'll keep a thread going on TalkBass for two or three years as they wait for their abomination to be built... If it ever will be... It's not uncommon for these luthiers to take on too many orders and grossly over-estimate how fast they can build instruments, until they ultimately run out of (your) money.

I like your literary style! "Rancid cottage cheese floating in a pool of gasahol" is priceless

People are definitely... well, they come in all stripes. I recall years ago there was an "initiative" to convince G&L to build an 8-string bass (think doubled courses of strings, like 12-string guitar). I can't remember if it was just a mailing list or a website/forum. It went on for years. Seemed like fun at the time, internet being new-ish, but looking back it seems like complete lunacy.

[Mossman]

I like your literary style! "Rancid cottage cheese floating in a pool of gasahol" is priceless

Heh... Thanks. I just worried that "gasahol" might be too old of a reference, but then I remembered where I was.

People are definitely... well, they come in all stripes. I recall years ago there was an "initiative" to convince G&L to build an 8-string bass (think doubled courses of strings, like 12-string guitar). I can't remember if it was just a mailing list or a website/forum. It went on for years. Seemed like fun at the time, internet being new-ish, but looking back it seems like complete lunacy.

You mean a handful of internet nit-wits couldn't convince G&L of the massive commercial viability of an 8-string bass?? What blind fools!

But why G&L? Why not Schecter, or Ibanez, or Dean even? Not some company that's clearly in the "traditionalist" camp.

[UrenragK]

All of these mad multi scale things are ugly to me, I can just about accept 7 strings, but anything more is a big MoMo for me