Unpopular Opinions

[Houblues]

I dunno, maybe I'm the asshole. I've never seemed to be able to fit in with the cool kids, which led me to affiliations with the not-cool kids - and I love those folks. They were always the ones willing to accept you for who you are, and I'm beginning to wonder if they exist anymore.

I really don't want to walk around carrying a "people suck" attitude around, but I don't seem to find very many convincing arguments otherwise.

As someone whose had many of the same experiences you've mentioned, a few things jump out -

1). A-holes generally aren't self-reflective enough to ask that question, so you almost certainly aren't. I wold guess you are intelligent, iconoclastic and introverted. Each of those qualities makes it hard to find friends, especially good ones. I have maybe three close friends, each of whom I've known for ten years or more and who only became close over time. Oddly, I only share a hobby with one of them, and over time the hobby faded as the basis of the friendship.

2. Different states have different cultures. Don't count this out as being a factor.

[PsychoCid]

I'm beginning to think that there aren't any chill people in... Utah ...capable of showing genuine interest in differing opinions and allowing others to be themselves. I'm interested in the quality of a person, and I seek the same in return.

Well... don't know what to tell you about that part, brother

There are also a shit-ton of other Texans and Californians here, judging by the demographic numbers and license plates. Utah gets a bad rep, but it's actually a really nice place. Perhaps I should've just used the phrase "in this local area" instead of indicting the whole damn state.

I have several family and friends who have lived there. None have been nearly as kind about it as your words.

Although to your point, disinvestment & gentrification have wide ripple effects

[nomadh]

You might as well buy what looks good because most of this crap dont matter. Strings light enough. Low enough action. Plays in tune up the neck. Pickups good enough to not hate them. Done. Now I want that in blue and s flametop and a strat shape in ash and in an sg shape and lpjr shape with nice woodgrain ....

My #1 looks like a post-fire Pinto and rides like a Ferrari engine on Benz suspension.

The main reason it stays my #1, is that it's comfortable as hell. You don't feel anything while you're playing, and your hands or neck don't get tired. It's almost like it's just you and the strings.

Or this!

[rrobbone]

I dunno, maybe I'm the asshole. I've never seemed to be able to fit in with the cool kids, which led me to affiliations with the not-cool kids - and I love those folks. They were always the ones willing to accept you for who you are, and I'm beginning to wonder if they exist anymore.

I really don't want to walk around carrying a "people suck" attitude around, but I don't seem to find very many convincing arguments otherwise.

As someone whose had many of the same experiences you've mentioned, a few things jump out -

1). A-holes generally aren't self-reflective enough to ask that question, so you almost certainly aren't. I wold guess you are intelligent, iconoclastic and introverted. Each of those qualities makes it hard to find friends, especially good ones. I have maybe three close friends, each of whom I've known for ten years or more and who only became close over time. Oddly, I only share a hobby with one of them, and over time the hobby faded as the basis of the friendship.

2. Different states have different cultures. Don't count this out as being a factor.

1. First off, thank you for the vote of confidence. I'll let the world figure out if I'm intelligent or iconoclastic, but I wouldn't really consider myself introverted. I like people, I just don't wish to spend my time around toxic or draining people. That seems to be the type of person I run into most often these days. I did a lot of soul searching after our family's custody battle several years ago, and really figured out what I need in that area versus what I can provide myself. I do like my alone time, but if I'm an introvert it's simply as a result of finding so few people who are - for lack of better terms - genuinely equipped to be a good friend to people. I'm cautious to a fault, but if my trust is earned, I'll run through bricks walls with a person.

A good friend will take from you when (and only when) they are in need and you are pouring into them. A good person sticks around and pours right back into you when you're in need, with no thought but to help you get better in whatever way is needed.

There are a lot of people here like this. It's a shame we're all so spread apart. I've seen the members of this forum rally around those who are going through rough times time and again. I myself have been the recipient of many positive and supportive messages via PM, in particular when I was going through that custody battle. I won't forget that support. It's rare.

Don't get me wrong, I am an asshole. But I've learned how to be an asshole who knows himself, and when a situation isn't likely to produce a positive result for anyone. I tend to avoid situations where the end result is my needing (or actually gleefully desiring) to be an asshole. Sadly, this tendency includes most people and their situations. I am seriously judge-y about people making stupid decisions to place themselves in bad situations. I have seen personal setbacks and hard times due to my being involved with people who habitually do this. I have zero tolerance for artificially manufactured drama, and through my personal trials and tribulations I've developed a highly accurate and sensitive bullshit detector. The prior sentence is why I'm an introvert at all.

2. Utah is almost a foreign country to me. It's stunningly beautiful and not a horrible place to be at all, but it's like perpetually being the main character in the first ten minutes of an old Twilight Zone episode. It's basically normal on the surface, but you know there's something off about the place - some twist - but you just can't put your finger on it.

[PoodlesAgain]

Village People was a lot of unpretentious stage fun.

My experience, as they opened for an R&B band, maybe 1981?

Not everybody can be David Gilmour.

[rrobbone]

Not everybody can be David Gilmour.

Same, but with Mark King.

[Rollin Hand]

I dunno, maybe I'm the asshole. I've never seemed to be able to fit in with the cool kids, which led me to affiliations with the not-cool kids - and I love those folks. They were always the ones willing to accept you for who you are, and I'm beginning to wonder if they exist anymore.

I really don't want to walk around carrying a "people suck" attitude around, but I don't seem to find very many convincing arguments otherwise.

As someone whose had many of the same experiences you've mentioned, a few things jump out -

1). A-holes generally aren't self-reflective enough to ask that question, so you almost certainly aren't. I wold guess you are intelligent, iconoclastic and introverted. Each of those qualities makes it hard to find friends, especially good ones. I have maybe three close friends, each of whom I've known for ten years or more and who only became close over time. Oddly, I only share a hobby with one of them, and over time the hobby faded as the basis of the friendship.

2. Different states have different cultures. Don't count this out as being a factor.

1. First off, thank you for the vote of confidence. I'll let the world figure out if I'm intelligent or iconoclastic, but I wouldn't really consider myself introverted. I like people, I just don't wish to spend my time around toxic or draining people. That seems to be the type of person I run into most often these days. I did a lot of soul searching after our family's custody battle several years ago, and really figured out what I need in that area versus what I can provide myself. I do like my alone time, but if I'm an introvert it's simply as a result of finding so few people who are - for lack of better terms - genuinely equipped to be a good friend to people. I'm cautious to a fault, but if my trust is earned, I'll run through bricks walls with a person.

A good friend will take from you when (and only when) they are in need and you are pouring into them. A good person sticks around and pours right back into you when you're in need, with no thought but to help you get better in whatever way is needed.

There are a lot of people here like this. It's a shame we're all so spread apart. I've seen the members of this forum rally around those who are going through rough times time and again. I myself have been the recipient of many positive and supportive messages via PM, in particular when I was going through that custody battle. I won't forget that support. It's rare.

Don't get me wrong, I am an asshole. But I've learned how to be an asshole who knows himself, and when a situation isn't likely to produce a positive result for anyone. I tend to avoid situations where the end result is my needing (or actually gleefully desiring) to be an asshole. Sadly, this tendency includes most people and their situations. I am seriously judge-y about people making stupid decisions to place themselves in bad situations. I have seen personal setbacks and hard times due to my being involved with people who habitually do this. I have zero tolerance for artificially manufactured drama, and through my personal trials and tribulations I've developed a highly accurate and sensitive bullshit detector. The prior sentence is why I'm an introvert at all.

2. Utah is almost a foreign country to me. It's stunningly beautiful and not a horrible place to be at all, but it's like perpetually being the main character in the first ten minutes of an old Twilight Zone episode. It's basically normal on the surface, but you know there's something off about the place - some twist - but you just can't put your finger on it.

[glasshand]

Phillips-head screws suck, and should not be used for anything more demanding than maybe pickup height adjustment, and the only reason we continue to use them for so much is historical reasons and the fact that you can usually drive a Phillips screw with a slightly wrong-sized bit, which you can't do with hex or square drives.

I have reached this conclusion after taking apart and reassembling a ton of furniture put together with Phillips screws, and dealing with the associated frustration. Phillips screws cam out and strip way too easily.

[rrobbone]

Ah, Gene Wilder....

This scene should be required study for anyone wishing to understand the simple, yet complex characteristics of impeccable comedic timing. It's just perfect.

[Houblues]

Phillips-head screws suck, and should not be used for anything more demanding than maybe pickup height adjustment, and the only reason we continue to use them for so much is historical reasons and the fact that you can usually drive a Phillips screw with a slightly wrong-sized bit, which you can't do with hex or square drives.

I have reached this conclusion after taking apart and reassembling a ton of furniture put together with Phillips screws, and dealing with the associated frustration. Phillips screws cam out and strip way too easily.

I agree. I can't think of any worse fastener format, across the spectrum of environments. I would be more than happy to buy every single torx bit size and variation if it would mean no more Philips (and similar).

[Rollin Hand]

Ah, Gene Wilder....

This scene should be required study for anyone wishing to understand the simple, yet complex characteristics of impeccable comedic timing. It's just perfect.

And it was improvised.

[fullonshred]

Phillips-head screws suck, and should not be used for anything more demanding than maybe pickup height adjustment, and the only reason we continue to use them for so much is historical reasons and the fact that you can usually drive a Phillips screw with a slightly wrong-sized bit, which you can't do with hex or square drives.

I have reached this conclusion after taking apart and reassembling a ton of furniture put together with Phillips screws, and dealing with the associated frustration. Phillips screws cam out and strip way too easily.

I agree. I can't think of any worse fastener format, across the spectrum of environments. I would be more than happy to buy every single torx bit size and variation if it would mean no more Philips (and similar).

To me flathead/regular screws are way worse. I have had some troubles with phillips but right driver size and not cheap screws help a lot. As does sufficient downward force when screwing in. But Torx and Robertson/Square head are easier to drive correctly with correct bit size. Again, cheap screws will still cause problems.

[PoodlesAgain]

..and there is also a Phillips lookalike, the JIS type, like on (Japanese) cameras, requiring their own driver tips.

[Gear_Junky]

Sanding off the finish on a beautiful new guitar and pretending it’s “worn” is beyond being dumb.

This is so true, especially considering that polyurethane finish probably won't wear out in 200 years (except dings and scratches, which tend to look ugly on poly). However, I traded one such guitar (my Epi LP) and I kind of like what the previous owner did It's kind of subtle.

[Gear_Junky]

Mine is this: plain white pickguards on Fender-type instruments (strats, teles, P-bass, the lot). It's just my preference but to me plain solid white pickguard communicates: "this is a prototype built in the garage, just a proof of concept". They all have these beautiful (crazy, futuristitc for when it came out!) body shapes, nice finishes, cool headstocks... why not a slightly classier pickguard? Personally I like a tasteful peraloid (that can also be done very badly). But I like a nice tort (on white guitars), I can see solid black or maybe gold and silver on certain colors. 3-ply off-white, ivory/cream can be nice. Just not that anemic white toilet seat. It's a bit like wearing a good suit with really lame shoes.

[glasshand]

I really dislike tortoise-shell pickguards. They look OK on old acoustics, but I think they look kind of ridiculous on more modern instruments.

[Gear_Junky]

I really dislike tortoise-shell pickguards. They look OK on old acoustics, but I think they look kind of ridiculous on more modern instruments.

I would agree. I only meant Fender strat, telecaster, p-bass, jazz bass, jazzmaster, jaguar, etc. And the oddballs like melody maker. None of them are modern instruments But mostly I like it with a white or off-white guitar. Tortoise on just about anything else makes me shudder. My WNO-630 (orange!) came with one of those

[Partscaster]

No two corks smell exactly the same.

[SalteeDog]

I can't find people to remain friends with anymore. Maybe I'm just getting a head start on the "get off my lawn" phase of life, but people just don't want to have an intelligent, reasoned, yet still open approach to conversation. It's all such a competition - their story has to be better, their possessions have to be better, their opinion has to be more correct than yours - even if it's the same fucking opinion -- "LeSs FiLLiNg! TaStEs GrEaT!", etc.

I'm not talking about the general public, but individual people here. I'm a friendly guy, I'll strike up a conversation with anyone - but it's like everyone's in such a snit (or so defensive) that they come back with some sort of verbal jab to maintain some sort of conversational upper hand or something. Inconsideration rules.

I'm capable of accepting the fact that a person sitting across from me loves something I absolutely loathe. In fact, I'll usually ask why they like it - what they might see in it that I'm missing. Those differences are interesting to me, but very few people seem to be willing to invest in convos like that anymore. It doesn't much seem to matter if the issue has any real consequence or not - recently I was soundly bashed over my preference for XBox over Playstation. I mean they just wouldn't let it go, even after my attempts to change the topic - They had to convince me to love the Playstation and renounce all other video-gamey affectations.

Since I moved here, I've tried to be a part of things. I've sought out groups, tried to find my tribe as it were. You'd think that with interests like music/singing performance/music production, guitars, woodworking, video games, cars, guns, etc. that I'd have no issue finding like minded people to spend time outside the house with. It doesn't seem to be the case. I'm beginning to think that there aren't any chill people in Utah capable of showing genuine interest in differing opinions and allowing others to be themselves. I'm interested in the quality of a person, and I seek the same in return.

I dunno, maybe I'm the asshole. I've never seemed to be able to fit in with the cool kids, which led me to affiliations with the not-cool kids - and I love those folks. They were always the ones willing to accept you for who you are, and I'm beginning to wonder if they exist anymore.

I really don't want to walk around carrying a "people suck" attitude around, but I don't seem to find very many convincing arguments otherwise.

I can relate to this. And I live nowhere near Utah. I think its a generational thing. Making friends was easier when we were young because well when young you don't *really* care about whose story was better. There was no investment in it. Whats important is tthe shared experience of the conversation.

I firmly believe every single person has something of interest about them, I'm pretty introverted but I like speaking to people in a way that is about sharing feelings and thoughts and not about competition. The modern world is a pretty ridiculous place already without having arguments about which brand of lawnmower is better. I prefer to laugh at the absurdity of growing grass just to cut it every week.

[jtcnj]

About 15 years ago, my dad moved to Utah from Colorado, then back again.
He said the Mormons drove him out, but didn't elaborate.
I'm not sure if he was kidding or not.

[t100d]

I dunno, maybe I'm the asshole. I've never seemed to be able to fit in with the cool kids, which led me to affiliations with the not-cool kids - and I love those folks. They were always the ones willing to accept you for who you are, and I'm beginning to wonder if they exist anymore.

I really don't want to walk around carrying a "people suck" attitude around, but I don't seem to find very many convincing arguments otherwise.

As someone whose had many of the same experiences you've mentioned, a few things jump out -

1). A-holes generally aren't self-reflective enough to ask that question, so you almost certainly aren't. I wold guess you are intelligent, iconoclastic and introverted. Each of those qualities makes it hard to find friends, especially good ones. I have maybe three close friends, each of whom I've known for ten years or more and who only became close over time. Oddly, I only share a hobby with one of them, and over time the hobby faded as the basis of the friendship.

2. Different states have different cultures. Don't count this out as being a factor.

1. First off, thank you for the vote of confidence. I'll let the world figure out if I'm intelligent or iconoclastic, but I wouldn't really consider myself introverted. I like people, I just don't wish to spend my time around toxic or draining people. That seems to be the type of person I run into most often these days. I did a lot of soul searching after our family's custody battle several years ago, and really figured out what I need in that area versus what I can provide myself. I do like my alone time, but if I'm an introvert it's simply as a result of finding so few people who are - for lack of better terms - genuinely equipped to be a good friend to people. I'm cautious to a fault, but if my trust is earned, I'll run through bricks walls with a person.

A good friend will take from you when (and only when) they are in need and you are pouring into them. A good person sticks around and pours right back into you when you're in need, with no thought but to help you get better in whatever way is needed.

There are a lot of people here like this. It's a shame we're all so spread apart. I've seen the members of this forum rally around those who are going through rough times time and again. I myself have been the recipient of many positive and supportive messages via PM, in particular when I was going through that custody battle. I won't forget that support. It's rare.

Don't get me wrong, I am an asshole. But I've learned how to be an asshole who knows himself, and when a situation isn't likely to produce a positive result for anyone. I tend to avoid situations where the end result is my needing (or actually gleefully desiring) to be an asshole. Sadly, this tendency includes most people and their situations. I am seriously judge-y about people making stupid decisions to place themselves in bad situations. I have seen personal setbacks and hard times due to my being involved with people who habitually do this. I have zero tolerance for artificially manufactured drama, and through my personal trials and tribulations I've developed a highly accurate and sensitive bullshit detector. The prior sentence is why I'm an introvert at all.

2. Utah is almost a foreign country to me. It's stunningly beautiful and not a horrible place to be at all, but it's like perpetually being the main character in the first ten minutes of an old Twilight Zone episode. It's basically normal on the surface, but you know there's something off about the place - some twist - but you just can't put your finger on it.

[rrobbone]

About 15 years ago, my dad moved to Utah from Colorado, then back again.
He said the Mormons drove him out, but didn't elaborate.
I'm not sure if he was kidding or not.

I have nothing against the LDS faith, except they won't stop ringing my doorbell looking for my wife (ex-Mo) with the intention of convincing her to re-join the church. The word "no" has been issued, as have the words "please stop calling and visiting my home" and - eventually - the words "fuck" and "off." She prefers not to have to answer the door anymore, and she has to screen her phone calls. That infuriates me, but I know it's a function of certain members of the church and not a reflection of the members as a whole. I don't hold it against my neighbors, who are mostly Mormon, and also nice people.

As for Utah, there are certain types of people whom I'd rather not live close to, be associated with, or have to tolerate at the grocery store. It is a fact that they live here. It is also a fact that they live in Colorado, Texas, Japan, Timbuktu, on the moon, and anywhere else I might consider moving to.

I find the best anti-asshole policy is to choose to be as happy as possible where I'm at for any given moment. I do the things and associate with the people that contribute to my personal happiness, and minimize all that do(es) not. I have become more convinced over time that one's current emotional state is very much a choice, all things being equal. My complaint was more geared to the difficulty involved in finding people who "get me." I could've been more specific.

I also hate snow. Fuck that stuff.

[rrobbone]

Ah, Gene Wilder....

This scene should be required study for anyone wishing to understand the simple, yet complex characteristics of impeccable comedic timing. It's just perfect.

And it was improvised.

I did not know this, and I love little facts like that about my favorite movies and shows. Knowing that makes it all that much better.

[Rollin Hand]

Ah, Gene Wilder....

This scene should be required study for anyone wishing to understand the simple, yet complex characteristics of impeccable comedic timing. It's just perfect.

And it was improvised.

I did not know this, and I love little facts like that about my favorite movies and shows. Knowing that makes it all that much better.

To be clear, I don't know how much of it was improvised, but I read that the pinchlines was. Cleavon Little cracked up, and it was in there.

I also read that there was another line after "It's twue! It's twue!" that didn't get past the censors.

"Sorry to disillusion you miss, but you're sucking my arm."

I love little trivia bits like that too. I am a total Cliff Klaven.

[Partscaster]

I can't find people to remain friends with anymore. Maybe I'm just getting a head start on the "get off my lawn" phase of life, but people just don't want to have an intelligent, reasoned, yet still open approach to conversation. It's all such a competition - their story has to be better, their possessions have to be better, their opinion has to be more correct than yours - even if it's the same fucking opinion -- "LeSs FiLLiNg! TaStEs GrEaT!", etc.

I'm not talking about the general public, but individual people here. I'm a friendly guy, I'll strike up a conversation with anyone - but it's like everyone's in such a snit (or so defensive) that they come back with some sort of verbal jab to maintain some sort of conversational upper hand or something. Inconsideration rules.

I'm capable of accepting the fact that a person sitting across from me loves something I absolutely loathe. In fact, I'll usually ask why they like it - what they might see in it that I'm missing. Those differences are interesting to me, but very few people seem to be willing to invest in convos like that anymore. It doesn't much seem to matter if the issue has any real consequence or not - recently I was soundly bashed over my preference for XBox over Playstation. I mean they just wouldn't let it go, even after my attempts to change the topic - They had to convince me to love the Playstation and renounce all other video-gamey affectations.

Since I moved here, I've tried to be a part of things. I've sought out groups, tried to find my tribe as it were. You'd think that with interests like music/singing performance/music production, guitars, woodworking, video games, cars, guns, etc. that I'd have no issue finding like minded people to spend time outside the house with. It doesn't seem to be the case. I'm beginning to think that there aren't any chill people in Utah capable of showing genuine interest in differing opinions and allowing others to be themselves. I'm interested in the quality of a person, and I seek the same in return.

I dunno, maybe I'm the asshole. I've never seemed to be able to fit in with the cool kids, which led me to affiliations with the not-cool kids - and I love those folks. They were always the ones willing to accept you for who you are, and I'm beginning to wonder if they exist anymore.

I really don't want to walk around carrying a "people suck" attitude around, but I don't seem to find very many convincing arguments otherwise.

I can relate to this. And I live nowhere near Utah. I think its a generational thing. Making friends was easier when we were young because well when young you don't *really* care about whose story was better. There was no investment in it. Whats important is tthe shared experience of the conversation.

I firmly believe every single person has something of interest about them, I'm pretty introverted but I like speaking to people in a way that is about sharing feelings and thoughts and not about competition. The modern world is a pretty ridiculous place already without having arguments about which brand of lawnmower is better. I prefer to laugh at the absurdity of growing grass just to cut it every week.

Could be an internet thing, too. We all are now so used to cherry picking our "sources", and then sounding off on a select platform while only having to open a web page from home. After years, we are all experts in our own biased minds. Used to be you'ld have to have real work experience and then be interviewed, or write a paper, or go to the park soapbox, or run for office, to broadcast one's opinion. Now, even I can try to pose as some sort of sociologist, on the fly. Plus, we don't have to look anyone in the eye, so we can be more crass or rude.