Today is my birthday. I stopped formally celebrating the event quite a while ago, being content to let that day pass unobtrusively and without undue notice. But this year has been notable as being the shittiest birthday of my life.
For starters, I've been on the news this week involving an immensely stressful situation.
But what is worse, I had to kill my best friend today.
Bonnie Prince Charles, who some of you may recall as the big tabby cat who appeared in many of my photos over the last six years, gazed into my own eyes for the last time with those lustrous, gold flecked, slitted orbs of his around 2 PM this afternoon.
Bonnie was the first cat we took in after moving to this property. I guess you could say he was the founder of the "house of TMC". Bonnie was at the vet about three weeks ago and they weren't sure what was wrong with him. He had diarrhea and was vomiting. He had lost weight. They ran tests and his white blood cell count was high. Not knowing what to do, they put him on a broad spectrum antibiotic. In the last three weeks he lost a massive amount of weight and had stopped eating entirely for the last two days. He looked out of it in his eyes. Today after lunch I took him to the animal emergency hospital. The doctor on staff examined him, did an ultrasound, and told me that his distended abdomen was tumors, that it was almost certainly cancer, and that it had progressed to the point where it was probably causing a total blockage. The prognosis was very bleak, with nothing in his future but suffering.
I loved that cat. I held his paw and kissed his cheek while he went to sleep, telling him to go chase the bunnies in the field.
He was exceptionally strong willed. Drove me nuts sometimes, though I loved him dearly. And what a personality: intelligent, friendly, outgoing, confident, cantankerous, single minded in purpose, jealous, possessive, and loving beyond measure. He loved me, and I him. He was truly a king amongst tabbies. A part of my heart got ripped out today and can never be replaced.
WORST BIRTHDAY OF MY LIFE
- toomanycats
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“There are only two means of refuge from the miseries of life: Music and Cats!” Albert Schweitzer
Sorry, man. It's so hard to tell a friend, "goodbye," especially when it's forever.
But you know you gave him the best life that he could have asked for every day of his life, and you were there with him and for him on the last day of his life. There's lots and lots of people who don't have it as good as your cat did. He knew he was loved all the way to the very last moment. And he was, too.
But you know you gave him the best life that he could have asked for every day of his life, and you were there with him and for him on the last day of his life. There's lots and lots of people who don't have it as good as your cat did. He knew he was loved all the way to the very last moment. And he was, too.
- LightWingStudios
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Been there...our deepest condolences. You're NEVER the same afterwards. Coming up on two years and I still break down in tears every time I think of him.
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- Partscaster
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We understand relativity enough, and quantum physics enough . The universe isnt a collection of just separate finite things, even though our modern minds try to log it so. And the subjective experience of one's own unwinding during death should be a relative eternity. In that, Bonnie Prince Charles will be forever, and relatively so will you. Love is like gravity between souls.
"The man that hath no music in himself, nor is not moved with concord of sweet sounds, is fit for treasons, stratagems, and spoils. The motions of his spirit are dull as night, and his affections dark as Erebus. Let no such man be trusted."
- slowhand84
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Ugh, sorry for your loss man. Doesn't make it easier but I can tell he was very loved and had a great life. That's how it should be.
- toomanycats
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“There are only two means of refuge from the miseries of life: Music and Cats!” Albert Schweitzer
- nomadh
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So sorry for your loss. Many cats are just cats but certain ones are like a whole different species. They have majesty and intellect and wisdom. And they can pass a bit of that on to their subjects. Just remembering my moe. So sorry.
And it's your birthday so you can pick another day later.
And it's your birthday so you can pick another day later.
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Sorry to hear about your friend. Always hard to lose one. But the bright side is it seems we share the same birthday. Someday well have to have a drink to toast your old friend.
- tonebender
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I always shed a tear for these threads. I am so sorry for your loss.
"Will follow through with a transaction when the terms are agreed upon" almightybunghole
So sorry to hear, take care.
- toomanycats
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This may sound odd, but Bonnie spent the night in the refrigerator last night. The hospital put him in a zip up biodegradable cloth bag and on the way home in the car I had him laying in the front seat. While driving I reached over, unzipped the bag, and caressed his soft fur. He was still warm. It was extremely hot yesterday afternoon and I didn't have it in me, either physically or emotionally, to dig another hole in the cat graveyard. So like I said, Bonnie rested peacefully on the bottom shelf of the fridge last evening. It was perhaps my one act of selfishness in regards to him, keeping him with me just one more night.
It's now the relative cool of the morning. I have just come in from putting Bonnie in the ground in a nice shaded spot in the shadow of the pine forest a stones throw from my house.
Many reading this know what it is like to dig a grave for one who you have loved and known most closely. I mean to actually use your own hands, strength, and will to pierce the resisting earth, stones, and roots; burrowing down into the bosom of the soil to form a cradle which will embrace the body of this being who you have known so intimately as a living soul with the light of life in their eyes, with breathe, feelings, love, and fears. And you place them in this dark place and cover them with loam, letting the earth take that assemblage of their physical being back into itself, with the trees taking their nutrients and minerals via the roots into themselves, and bacteria, insects, and worms likewise feeding on the energy of their corpse.
And so Bonnie is now curled up in the ground next to Schopie, Moo Moo, Cotton, Bumble Bee, and a little kitten that didn't live long enough to have a name. I placed a few heavy concrete blocks over his resting place and lay some white hydrangea flowers on top. Fare-thee-well Bonnie Prince Charles.
Thank you sincerely for all of your kind thoughts everyone. It does help to share my grief, knowing that there are many animal lovers here who understand what I'm going through.
And now I have just one more reason to play the blues. Got a gig this afternoon at Shadow Line Vineyards in Granite Falls NC. If you're anywhere close by, come on out this afternoon and we'll tip a glass of wine together and shed a tear over the noble Bonnie Prince Charles.
It's now the relative cool of the morning. I have just come in from putting Bonnie in the ground in a nice shaded spot in the shadow of the pine forest a stones throw from my house.
Many reading this know what it is like to dig a grave for one who you have loved and known most closely. I mean to actually use your own hands, strength, and will to pierce the resisting earth, stones, and roots; burrowing down into the bosom of the soil to form a cradle which will embrace the body of this being who you have known so intimately as a living soul with the light of life in their eyes, with breathe, feelings, love, and fears. And you place them in this dark place and cover them with loam, letting the earth take that assemblage of their physical being back into itself, with the trees taking their nutrients and minerals via the roots into themselves, and bacteria, insects, and worms likewise feeding on the energy of their corpse.
And so Bonnie is now curled up in the ground next to Schopie, Moo Moo, Cotton, Bumble Bee, and a little kitten that didn't live long enough to have a name. I placed a few heavy concrete blocks over his resting place and lay some white hydrangea flowers on top. Fare-thee-well Bonnie Prince Charles.
Thank you sincerely for all of your kind thoughts everyone. It does help to share my grief, knowing that there are many animal lovers here who understand what I'm going through.
And now I have just one more reason to play the blues. Got a gig this afternoon at Shadow Line Vineyards in Granite Falls NC. If you're anywhere close by, come on out this afternoon and we'll tip a glass of wine together and shed a tear over the noble Bonnie Prince Charles.
“There are only two means of refuge from the miseries of life: Music and Cats!” Albert Schweitzer
That is beautiful. And familiar, as my Ricky spent a night in the freezer. I have heard ditch diggers speak on the importance of digging for your own friends and kin.toomanycats wrote: ↑Sun Jul 26, 2020 8:01 am This may sound odd, but Bonnie spent the night in the refrigerator last night. The hospital put him in a zip up biodegradable cloth bag and on the way home in the car I had him laying in the front seat. While driving I reached over, unzipped the bag, and caressed his soft fur. He was still warm. It was extremely hot yesterday afternoon and I didn't have it in me, either physically or emotionally, to dig another hole in the cat graveyard. So like I said, Bonnie rested peacefully on the bottom shelf of the fridge last evening. It was perhaps my one act of selfishness in regards to him, keeping him with me just one more night.
It's now the relative cool of the morning. I have just come in from putting Bonnie in the ground in a nice shaded spot in the shadow of the pine forest a stones throw from my house.
Many reading this know what it is like to dig a grave for one who you have loved and known most closely. I mean to actually use your own hands, strength, and will to pierce the resisting earth, stones, and roots; burrowing down into the bosom of the soil to form a cradle which will embrace the body of this being who you have known so intimately as a living soul with the light of life in their eyes, with breathe, feelings, love, and fears. And you place them in this dark place and cover them with loam, letting the earth take that assemblage of their physical being back into itself, with the trees taking their nutrients and minerals via the roots into themselves, and bacteria, insects, and worms likewise feeding on the energy of their corpse.
And so Bonnie is now curled up in the ground next to Schopie, Moo Moo, Cotton, Bumble Bee, and a little kitten that didn't live long enough to have a name. I placed a few heavy concrete blocks over his resting place and lay some white hydrangea flowers on top. Fare-thee-well Bonnie Prince Charles.
Thank you sincerely for all of your kind thoughts everyone. It does help to share my grief, knowing that there are many animal lovers here who understand what I'm going through.
And now I have just one more reason to play the blues. Got a gig this afternoon at Shadow Line Vineyards in Granite Falls NC. If you're anywhere close by, come on out this afternoon and we'll tip a glass of wine together and shed a tear over the noble Bonnie Prince Charles.
Let that guitar sing the pain. Enjoy it, as he would want you to.
- redman
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Man so sorry I had a similar thing happen with my buddy Duncan and it is hard they become like your children.
So sorry for your loss, I love my cats and they are the first 2 cats I have ever owned in my life since starting my own family. I can only imagine the pain associated with loosing one of them and unfortunately one day I will have to experience that myself. I will drink a beer in remembrance of the noble Bonnie Prince Charles.
No. You didn't kill him. You did what you agreed to do when you took him in, whether you knew it or not, and that was to take care of him and do what was best. You did that. You didn't kill him, you stopped him from suffering. Humanely.
Sorry for your loss.
RIP Bonnie.
Sorry for your loss.
RIP Bonnie.
- sabasgr68
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I´ve lost pets before, I know it hurts. Take your time...
I´m the guy from Venezuela (Not Communist/Socialist) - Catholic - Husband - Father
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Always grateful to the AGF community and friends
AGF refugee - Banned by MOMO
Looking for online/remote job - Income on the internet
Always grateful to the AGF community and friends
AGF refugee - Banned by MOMO