A Guitar And Gear Support Forum

I'm putting together a collection of band-related jokes. I could look them up on-line but it's more fun doing it this way. Please submit whatever you have. Meme's are welcome too.

On a related note: this is a good read about Gary Larson's Far Side banjo humor: https://screenrant.com/far-side-comics- ... jo-player/

What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians? A drummer.
What do you call a guitarist after his girlfriend breaks up with him? Homeless.
How do you know when the drum riser is level? The drummer drools out of both sides of his mouth.
What do you call someone learning guitar? A bassist.

Yes, these are very old. Sorry.

How can you tell the bass player is faking ?

He uses your girlfriend's cell to call in sick.

What does a stripper do with her a**hole before going to work?

Drop him off at band practice.

A young lad came home late, when grilled by his parents, he said, "I was late because I decided to take bass guitar lessons." The next day he was late again, his mother asked if he was late because of another bass lesson and he replied, "No, I had a gig."

Always liked this one.

How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one - he holds on and lets the world revolve around him.


How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
Thirteen - one to actually do it, and twelve more to stand around and say, "Yeah, he's fine, I guess, I mean, I could do that too, if I wanted to..."

(told to me by my band's bassist!)

This young band gets their first big break - they get to open for a really big, famous band at a huge stadium show. The stadium is packed, and the band is rocking out, really trying to give it their all and impress the audience.

The lead singer is thinking, "This is fantastic! We're going to be so famous, and I'm going to have sex with so many groupies..."

The guitarist is thinking, "This is fantastic! I'm going to get my picture on the cover of all the guitar magazines, and I'm going to get endorsement deals..."

The drummer is thinking, "This is fantastic! We're going to make so much money, and I'll get a house and that really fancy kit I always wanted..."

And the bassist is thinking, "A, A, A, A, E, E, E, E..."

I can't believe I forgot this one for so long!

A European explorer is travelling through central Africa with his native guide. They're paddling their raft down a slow-moving, murky river, with dark jungle pressing in on each side. In the distance, they begin to hear drums, slow but insistent.

"I don't like the sound of those drums," observes the explorer.
"No worry," says the guide, "Drums good."

They keep paddling, deeper into the jungle. The drums begin to get louder and faster.
"Are you sure those drums are OK?" asks the explorer.
"Drums good, drums good," insists the guide. "All good."

As they press further into the jungle, the drums get louder and more insistent.
"I really don't like those drums!" says the explorer. "Are you sure they're good?"
"Drums all good!" says the guide. "Only bad when drums stop!"
"Why?" cries the explorer. "What happens when the drums stop?"
And the guide looks at him and says..."Bass solo."