A Guitar And Gear Support Forum

In other news, I’m considering giving myself a vasectomy and several root canals. Maybe I’ll call the Canada Revenue Agency and tell them I don’t think I paid enough tax, or invite ALL my exes over for drinks and dinner with me and my Wife.

Why? Why does it ALWAYS have to be such a pain in the ass?

Aaaaaaarrrrrrgh!

Musicians are the main reason I mostly gave up music....

I feel your pain. I'm dealing with the gamut with all the acts I play with.

In no specific order, issues regarding alcohol, drugs, punctuality, egoism, professionalism, musicianship, and control.

Ain't rock and roll fun?

Standard stuff here too: no definite leader, converted guitar player reluctantly playing bass, noodling in between songs while we're trying to talk like it's a solo slot at a open mic night.... you know.... the usual.

I'm also continually amazed by how many people are content to play with vocals that are GROSSLY off key, like it's not that important to the song. I don't mean a little pitchy.... I mean wildly out of tune. When my singing is grossly off key, I simply refuse to sing it until I have it nailed, or ask for a key change or just say "No, man... can't do it".

Milkman wrote: ↑Thu Nov 11, 2021 2:38 pm
I'm also continually amazed by how many people are content to play with vocals that are GROSSLY off key, like it's not that important to the song. I don't mean a little pitchy.... I mean wildly out of tune. When my singing is grossly off key, I simply refuse to sing it until I have it nailed, or ask for a key change or just say "No, man... can't do it".

Yup. As a vocalist primarily, bands who ignore this hurt my soul.

Hoo... Yeah. All my life I've been ping-ponging between wanting to play in a band, and then getting fed up, and wanting to do stuff on my own for a while... But then some other opportunity comes along, or I get the itch to play in a band again, and I forget all about the potential bullshit involved and I'm back at it... Full of optimism.

I don't think I have the tolerance to put up with that stuff anymore. The last band I was in, we were all sober grown-ups (there's a lot of musicians in AA... go figure.), and there was minimal drama... It was a good time, and I was really bummed out when it ended. The only thing that did that band in was that our guitarist developed a sensitivity to high frequencies and had to stop playing (and we rehearsed at his house). If I were to get involved in another band, there would be a check-list. It would have to be with people who are reasonably self-aware, fairly responsible, and at least not active alcoholics, or heavy drug users... That's why I haven't tried to get a gig since I moved to California.

toomanycats wrote: ↑Thu Nov 11, 2021 2:00 pm I feel your pain. I'm dealing with the gamut with all the acts I play with.

In no specific order, issues regarding alcohol, drugs, punctuality, egoism, professionalism, musicianship, and control.

Ain't rock and roll fun?

I do not miss any of those things. It sucks the fun right out of it. These guys I am playing with currently have proven to be trouble free so far. The other guitarist was in my first band back in the day. We have always stayed it touch and over the years did a couple reunion gigs. Over the last three or four years we have done some acoustic shows together. He gave me a call about 6 months ago and told me they wanted me to join their three piece southern rock/blues band to play all the second guitar parts they have recorded on their records over the years. It has been wonderful. I had to roll up my sleeves and learn the songs and there was no tab or you tube lessons available. All original music was the attraction. Now though, they are starting to prepare covers for those gigs that require such. Not as much fun but we still do a lot of originals too. They even let me do some of mine. It's very cool and if it wasn't these guys I would not be playing in a band. No more drama for me.

- I had to convert to bass
- Our singer is always off key
- The drummer can't keep time

Oh. We have a banjo player.


I still love every minute of it.

It is not all bad. It grows you as a musician and some of the better bands / songs recorded, the members were artistically & personally at odds with each other.

I refuse to play bars and clubs. Was fun for a couple of decades, last time - not so much.

Its tough to find the right balances. I'm dealing with including too many folks,...again.

Well, I’ve decided to make the most of things.

Recently, I’ve been really trying to get the CAGED chord/scale/arpeggio relationships firmly planted into the bed of manure that is my 50 year old brain. This “band” will allow me to experiment with that work in a real band setting in real time without much consequence.

Last time we played, my headstock must’ve got knocked around, because my G was waaaay flat…. So I stopped the song and apologized, but the other guys confessed they couldn’t hear a difference! Even the other guitarist!

I have no idea how many musicians I've both played with and auditioned over the 35 years I gigged some were great some were terrible and lots were just mediocre but one thing most had in common they thought they were irreplaceable prima donnas that just didn't work out. Even though it was always a hassel to be in a band playing and watching the audience going wild at a gig wether it's 100 people or a thousand is the greatest feeling I've ever had.
I finally got lucky though and in 1995 we formed No Strings Attached and we were lke family and and I had 15 years in a great band before my accident. I still play with these guys occasionly just for fun and they are still my best friends.

I'm the fat guy in the middle

I don’t really care about the level they’re playing at…. To be honest, we’re all roughly even there. I’m definitely not irreplaceable… not sure how they feel.

The issues for me are common; there’s no clear plan for rehearsals, guys clearly haven’t practiced their parts or know the song structure (sometimes even just the chord progressions). Stuff like that.

Add in the non-stop noodling by by the other guitar player and it’s enough to grate on you a bit.

The drummer is a super nice guy, and is close with the bass player, who seems solid enough, but I’m not vibing with the other guitar player much - though he can certainly play the stuff he knows.

redman wrote: ↑Sun Nov 28, 2021 11:25 am I have no idea how many musicians I've both played with and auditioned over the 35 years I gigged some were great some were terrible and lots were just mediocre but one thing most had in common they thought they were irreplaceable prima donnas that just didn't work out. Even though it was always a hassel to be in a band playing and watching the audience going wild at a gig wether it's 100 people or a thousand is the greatest feeling I've ever had.
I finally got lucky though and in 1995 we formed No Strings Attached and we were lke family and and I had 15 years in a great band before my accident. I still play with these guys occasionly just for fun and they are still my best friends.

I'm the fat guy in the middle
omChUhI[1].jpg

I love this song. Playing and listening. Great version. I hope to get back to this point now that I'm retired. I need to spark up the fire.

Milkman wrote: ↑Sun Nov 28, 2021 12:05 pm I don’t really care about the level they’re playing at…. To be honest, we’re all roughly even there. I’m definitely not irreplaceable… not sure how they feel.

The issues for me are common; there’s no clear plan for rehearsals, guys clearly haven’t practiced their parts or know the song structure (sometimes even just the chord progressions). Stuff like that.

Add in the non-stop noodling by by the other guitar player and it’s enough to grate on you a bit.

The drummer is a super nice guy, and is close with the bass player, who seems solid enough, but I’m not vibing with the other guitar player much - though he can certainly play the stuff he knows.

When in this situation I don't refuse or quit I just add. Especially if it's a problem of quantity. If they don't play enough or give it enough priority ad a side jam. I got into bass that way. I had a great time pairing up with a later bass player to do some great gigs and adding new people. It's how I got singing croaking until I made it. Maybe this drummer and you have the start of a side project.

Well today is really my fist day of retirement. All last week would have been off anyway but today feels very different. The holiday made a nice warm up but it's time to start getting project done. One of those is restart my music drive. So far just playing a little acoustic and it's a little like pulling teeth.

Milkman wrote: ↑Sun Nov 28, 2021 12:05 pm
The issues for me are common; there’s no clear plan for rehearsals, guys clearly haven’t practiced their parts or know the song structure (sometimes even just the chord progressions). Stuff like that.

Add in the non-stop noodling by by the other guitar player and it’s enough to grate on you a bit.

Yup, those things right there make it no fun.

What really drives me nuts is that if you're the one insisting on things that everyone really should agree upon, then you're made out to be a stickler.
I'm talking about expecting that nobody gets wasted during a performance.
That individuals practice before band rehearsal, and that rehearsals themselves are productive and have clear objectives.
That people behave professionally onstage, by which I mean not constantly noodling between songs like a 14 year old at Guitar Center, or inserting long unplanned solos for themselves into the middle of songs, or constantly escalating their volume.

Now more than ever I understand why musicians often stipulate in want ads, "No drinking, no drugs, no attitudes." Those three things just about cover it.

Well, here's an update....

I told the drummer that the situation wasn't doing it for me, but mentioned to him that we have similar musical tastes and can maybe take advantage of this to help develop some skills that we'd like to work on, which are too weak for a band setting. For me, this is mainly keyboard/piano, and for him it's vocals.

He's a good guy. The bass player and the drummer are friends and go back a ways, but the bass player is a little too tightly wound for me and just isn't a great player - he's clearly pretty new to it, and is a high level government employee with little time for practicing.

One thing I've learned along the way is that sometimes, musical chemistry just isn't there and never will be. It's best to just cut loose and move on.

It's also an 80km (50mi) round trip for me to jam with those guys..... so that's a factor too.